STORY:
Flirting Tips
By Kristen Machut

Brush up on these age old ways and some new ones to "tease" your Valentine

Sure you can send someone flowers, candies or a gift to let them know you exist. But there are more ways than typical to drop hints to a potential mate. In fact, the fine art of playfully displaying one's interest in someone is alive and well contrary to most beliefs. A whole industry has developed and online dating especially has picked up the pace in the last decade. Tons of people are giving advice and coaching (in print, in person, and online) on the art of flirting, especially for Valentine's Day.

Flirt.com is a dating connection to have fun, make new friends and find love. And you can do it all safely and from the privacy of your own location. Flirt has hundreds of thousands of Member Profiles, Photos and Personal Ads from men and women who are looking for that perfect someone. They also offer you the chance to email and/or chat with others about flirting, how to's and why it is or isn't working!

The following is some real, live flirting advice: "Sometimes, when you do what looks like all the right romantic things, you could look too eager to please, which gets interpreted as if you don't have that essential ingredient for Earth Men: masculine confidence.
Keep building your self-confidence in other ways such as improving your physique, gaining skills in things that interest you, and making friends both male and female. This will make you all around more attractive."

LovingYou.com offers a compendium of (anonymous) commonsense advice, such as this: "If you see someone in the local store, say Hi! Make eye contact and smile with whomever you can. You'll find the more you do this, the easier it will become."

The key is to practice. You don't have to decide to be super friendly to everybody, but if you recognize that maybe others feel like they're getting the cold shoulder...chances are so is the cute guy at the end of the bar.

They also have support groups available for you to join. For example, if you're dating someone in the military and they can't be by your side this Valentine's Day...find a friend and get the support that you need.

Adolescent Adulthood, a site aimed at helping young adults through dating-and-relating traumas, has a series of unsigned articles basically aimed at encouraging self-confidence among would-be flirters: "Develop your own individual style, because by doing that, you're saying, 'I like who I am,' and that's very sexy.

Writer-lecturer Linda Stambaugh defines flirting as "letting someone know that you like them, and would like to know them better. Flirting has less to do with how you look... and a lot more to do with how you make people feel." Her site includes detailed responses to selected reader letters, on such topics as rejoining the singles scene after divorce.

Other helpful tips I found interesting in my flirt research:

"If you want someone to approach you, be sure to wear or carry something that is eye-catching and noticeable to you. You will be surprised how much easier it is to go up to someone and ask a question about their prop."

"Flirting is not about winking and slinking--it's the art of making people feel special."

"Eye contact, good listening skills, humor, expressing self-confidence and respecting others are vital not just for attracting a mate but for reaching "your professional and personal goals.... When you flirt with someone you find a magical connection."
--Jill Spiegel, author of Flirting for Success