The following Top Ten List is an excerpt from I'm So Tired of Other People, I'm Dating Myself Single this holiday??? We feel your pain. But some of these ideas aren't too shabby!

1. Watching "Fatal Attraction" over and over again to remind me of what I'm not missing.
   
   
2. Trying to decide how much to pay for (use your imagination here...) $20, $50, $200, the rest of my life?
   
   
3. Wondering if the Asian mail order woman company really has a money-back guarantee.
   
   
4. Calling all the women I've gone out with in the last year, and asking them if they enjoyed my wedding presents.
   
   
5. Renting the Jocelyn Elders workout video.
   
   
6. Waiting until tomorrow when I can buy all the really cheap chocolate, then eat it all like a pig.
   
   
7. Taking my significant other, Candy, to be patched at the local bicycle repair shop.
   
   
8. Campaigning for a law banning the following phrases:
   • "Can't we just be friends?"
   • "I think of you as a brother." (sister)
   • "I mean SLEEP together."
   • "You'd like him -- he's a lot like you."
   • "My boyfriend (girlfriend) and I got back together."
   • "Sure, I'll go out with you ..." (At first this seems innocent until you realize it means "You buy me food, movies, and parking, and in the end, I'll break your heart")
   • "You're the only one for me."
   • "You can trust me."
   • "Someday, it'll happen for you." (Especially said by anyone married.)
   
   
9. Going cherub hunting with some anti-tank missiles.
   
   
10. Ignoring everyone, being surely, being anti-social and just generally bitter about not owning stock in Hallmark.

Source: Lori's Humor Page

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